Where I’m From (and Memories of My Badass Asian-American Friends in High School)

The question of where are you from? Has become more layered and complicated for me since I moved to Spain from America over two years ago. I remember one time in America, a Black woman I didn’t know asked me that question and she could tell that I was thinking about how to answer and she followed up with, “You know what I’m asking.” She was with my friends so I knew it wasn’t coming from a place of hostility. My level of belonging-ness wasn’t being questioned. My American-ness wasn’t being tested. Korea, I answered. I was born in Korea.

Here in Spain I also know what they mean. Back when my Spanish was much worse I would struggle to get thru the whole born in Korea but raised in America and lived in NY thing and I would just jump to “Soy Coreano-Americano” or “Soy de Nueva York.” Except a lot of people would interpret the former as me saying that I was mixed with Korean and American. The hyphenated identity thing is mostly American and confusing to non-Americans. Mixed with what tho? I imagine that they imagined the American part to mean white like most people when they hear American. But c’mon, I don’t look mixed at all.

Now that my Spanish has improved I can take them thru the steps of my identity. To the Koreans here tho I am simply American. To others I am a mix of American and Korean but mostly New Yorker. And relax you native New Yorkers who were simply born in a city as if you had a choice in the matter and who are about be up in arms about…